AITA for telling my bsf i need some space?

I (22F) got into a fight with my best friend (22F). We spend a lot of time together, and maybe that's why we often clash. I usually avoid arguments. I’m pretty laid-back and let things go most of the time. But my best friend is more sensitive, and nearly everything I do bothers her.

Right now, we live in different towns, and this week has been hectic for me. I hadn’t called her in a few days, so when I finally did, she mentioned a voice note she sent saying she missed me and wanted me to “text her so she’d know I’m alive.” I made a joke and said, “hi it’s me, talking to you from the afterlife.” I thought it was funny and lighthearted. I even sent her some reels afterward since I didn’t have time for a proper call but wanted to show her I cared. However, when we spoke today, she said it hurt her that I didn’t say, “I miss you too,” or anything more affectionate.

The issue is that she gets insecure in our relationship when we don't speak for a couple of days. I try to reassure her that a few days without talking won’t ruin our two-year friendship, but she doesn’t believe me. She has abandonment issues from her past friendships, so I empathize and try to be understanding, but it never seems to be enough. She didn’t like my joke, saying it was insensitive and that I do this every time she expresses her love. I admit she might have a point; I struggle with expressing affection. Although I've improved over time, it’s still a weak spot for me.

Then she said I don’t reply to her texts quickly enough and that I leave her reels unopened. I found that ironic because she often leaves my messages on seen, forgets to respond, and makes plenty of typos. I usually just call her, as that's easier. I even make an effort to text her differently, adding more hearts and softening my tone so she doesn’t misread me. As for the reels, she hardly checks what I send her. It usually takes her days to respond too. This past week has been so hectic that I barely checked what anyone sent me. So it took me a day or so to reply to the reels she sent. She didn’t like that.

When she confronted me about these issues, I pointed out that she does the same things to me, and she said I always turn things around on her. I tried to explain that it’s not fair to be upset about things you also do, but she didn’t like that. By then, it was pretty late, and I was tired, so I said I’d talk to her later.

This often happens with her. Every small thing escalates into a fight, and if I mention that she does the same thing, she says I “keep things inside, and if it bothered me so much, why didn't i mention it?” But my point was that there's no need to get upset over every little thing. I genuinely try to accommodate her feelings, but it’s becoming exhausting. I don’t mind apologizing when I’m wrong, but being scrutinized for every little thing is draining.