I went through his phone and found out the truth

I (26F) was dating a guy (28M) for 6 months. On Thursday, he was at my place. He had mentioned earlier that he was going to visit a friend for a bit because they were going on vacation and he wouldn’t be able to see them for a while. Even knowing it’s a girl, I said it was fine. I was trying to be supportive, I didn’t want to say he couldn’t go hang out with his friend. So before he left, my mood changed because it felt off to me, he said he was going to go for a bit and come back. So I just decided to take a nap so I didn’t have to think about it. A couple hours pass and he calls to tell me that he’s on his way back. When he gets to my place he asked me why I was so down when he left, I told him the reasoning and he said yea I figured you were upset but I thought you were being a baby about it. This made me upset, because you knew I was feeling some type of way, instead of giving me reassurance or checking if I was okay, you just left me?

So the night goes on, we’re chilling, watching movies and playing games. He drank so eventually he passes out. Around 2am Friday, my mind is racing because what he said really hurt me. I don’t ever think going through someone’s phone is okay, but I’ve asked him countless times, gave him multiple chances to explain to me that we’re not on the same page and we want different things. I was feeling too uneasy and didn’t trust his word anymore.

2 weeks ago I sent him a very long paragraph about how I wanted things to go, how I felt about him, I gave him the ultimatum. The whole reason I sent it in the first place was because he called me “dick breath” after making out one time. My breath didn’t stink and it felt like an accusation so I was livid. We didn’t see each other for a couple days ( guess why lol) but eventually he said he wanted to respond to my messages in person. When we had that conversation, that was his moment to tell me, he doesn’t see me long term, he wants to be friends or sleep with other people, whatever. But no, he looked me dead in my face, held my hands, Apologized for everything and told me I had nothing to worry about, he wanted to build a relationship with me…..

So it was a fucking surprise when I open his phone and see messages to other women. He did go see another woman, cuddled up with her and then came back and laid in my fucking bed. He talked to a few women all damn day. I was sick. I’m scrolling through everything and contemplating a life sentence lol. I decided to text the other woman he saw earlier. I noticed through their texts that she was feeling the same way as me, asking him if he’s seeing other people and getting the same bs lies (other girls I could tell were from months ago, or recently exchanged numbers from a dating app). She responded and I told her everything!!! She wasn’t even surprised, she knew in her gut that he was lying and I was the dumbass to not trust my intuition. He started seeing her like a month ish after he started seeing me. She told me they didn’t see each other as much as he spent time with me (like that fucking matters) but he was saying he wants to marry her and go on trips with her but yet he’s saying he loves me and calls me his “girl/girlfriend”.

Eventually I called my besties and they said they would come over so they could kick him out. I was afraid to wake him up alone, just in case he got physical with me because of the drinking and the fact that I went through his privacy. My bestie came and kicked him out, he had nothing to say to me but he threatened my best friend. He called me right after leaving( I didn’t answer) and then called the other woman. She called me after his call and she told me everything he said. He doesn’t understand why I’m so hurt. He told her that he really likes me but only sees me as a friend and how “nobody claimed him”. Honestly I just think he was trying to save face for her since she answered but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I was able to find out through their messages that he slept with her the day before my birthday and then slept with me on my birthday (disgusting). I don’t understand how a person can be so cruel. You open up to them and tell them about every person that’s hurt you in the past. He says “I would never do that to you, I’m not that kind of person”. Just to stab me in the heart and do the exact same shit. I also found out that his father knew about his son’s behaviour, but whenever I talk to his father, he couldn’t warn me? You sit there all smiles in my face, asking how are relationship is going, meanwhile you know he’s a dirty fucking dog. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I had to go to work today and I cried all the way home and all of yesterday night. I don’t want to cry. I know I’m an amazing person, I treated him like a king. Yet still as I type I’m balling my eyes out. I don’t understand why. What if I didn’t go through his phone, how long was this going to continue? Was he just going to choose one of us one day? And how did he find time to do all of this? Did he sleep with more women?!?

Some of you might say “6 months isn’t a long time” but when you’re with a person basically every week doing (dates, family occasions, hanging out with friends, otp almost 24/7, sleeping on FT) everything together, how am I not supposed to catch feelings! I’m super loyal and he knows this. He would always say to me, if you ever get with another guy, I’ll be pissed, wtf?!?!? Where was my loyalty?!?! I don’t know what to doooooooo. Im never gonna get closure so I’m just supposed to cry until I feel better or forget him?