Just releasing intentions to the void

This post is for me, as I have posted for me in the past on other accounts. This is not my first time around the block. I don't really know what's different this time, and that scares me. How can I be successful after so many failed attempts?

I'm 48 hours weed free and starting to feel the pull again. I honestly couldn't tell you why. There's no trigger, I'm having a really good day. The sun is shining and because I feel good, my mind is telling me it's okay - it's somehow *different* if I smoke from a good place.

The cognitive dissonance is hard. I know first hand that weed is a shitty friend who borrows my happiness, contentment and ease from later and never pays it back. My lizard brain doesn't care. It wants the immediate satisfaction, me in 2 hours be damned.

So what's different this time? Absolutely nothing - and maybe that's okay. Maybe it took that last failed attempt to finally get it to click.

Anyways, next right step - I may not be free for the rest of my life, but I can be free at least for the rest of today.