How do you actually learn to read financial statements without spending 100 hours?

I've been trying to educate myself on investing, and I keep hitting the same wall:

Financial statements are incredibly boring and confusing.

I can pull up a 10-K, but then what? I see revenue, net income, cash flow... and I don't know what any of it actually MEANS for the business.

Here's what I've tried:

• YouTube tutorials (too slow, too much jargon)
• Books (dense, takes forever)
• Online courses (expensive and still confusing)
• Asking people (they use more jargon)

The real problem:

I need someone (or something) to EXPLAIN what these numbers mean in plain English. Not "revenue is sales" - I know that. But like "this company's revenue is declining because X, which means Y for the business."

My questions:

• How do you learn to interpret financial statements efficiently?
• Is there a way to get instant explanations of what numbers mean?
• How do experienced investors process this so fast?
• Is there a tool that helps break down financial statements?

I want to understand what I'm looking at without spending weeks learning accounting.