I missed you for the first time today

I woke up today, and those eight hours felt long. I wanted to message you even though I know you just got up and hadn’t even started your day. There was nothing to message you about, so I waited. Two hours passed, and I kept myself busy with things I wanted to do today. I had woken up early to wash my hair, make some breakfast, and head out the door, and for that time, yes, I didn’t think of you.

You messaged me only three hours into the day. It’s something you needed, right? I’m happy you did. You told me about something you heard that connected in a conversation we’ve been having frequently. We talked back and forth for a while, saying nothing much, but in between those messages, it felt like there was so much to say. Maybe it was that we miss each other, and this is the closest we could get. It wasn’t close enough because I still missed you and I felt restrained.

I was listening to Celine Dion’s song “It’s All Coming Back to Me,” and each time the chorus came up, I just heard this deep yearning of missing you. It’s almost like the song expressed what was within me. I think I’m just too intense because I know you’re not someone I think of in that way or want to think of in that way. But today was an odd day, and I think we’ve been depending on each other a lot lately.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​