Is it normal to feel regression when dealing with a rough breakup?

We broke up six months ago when I found out she was cheating. We had been dating for 5 years.

Anyway, I’ve been doing all the good stuff: therapy, going no contact, taking care of myself.

I was doing really good and feeling really happy.

Unfortunately, Halloween rolled around and that was really rough. I didn’t violate no-contact, but I checked her social media for the first time since August.

This was a huge mistake of course. I feel like I’m right back where I am. I spent months working to get over that sort of urge to check, that compulsion that I still feel tethered to her. I felt good, and like I’d made my peace with what was the past.

And then a memory of last Halloween rolled around, and I didn’t do a good enough job of handling emotions, and here we are.

Anyway, I’m feeling feelings I haven’t felt in months. Namely, thoughts that I’m worthless: that she was my one shot, that I’ve wasted a fifth of my life, that I’ll never find someone again. I mostly just really wish I had someone to close to me; someone to hug me; someone to hold me.

I feel really lonely, and that loneliness really hurts. I feel like I’ve lost all the progress I’ve made and I’m back where I started.

I know healing is not linear, but I truly believed I’d finally turned a page. I really truly deeply thought I was beyond this stage of hurt.

Does anyone have any advice?