AITA for asking my wife to stop bringing her mother’s ashes into bed with us?

so my wife’s mom passed away about eight months ago. it was really sudden and hit her hard. they were super close, she used to call her mom every single day. i’ve tried to be as understanding as i can cause i know grief hits everyone different

the thing is ever since we picked up her mom’s ashes she’s been keeping them in this small decorative jar. at first she kept it on her nightstand which i thought was totally fine. but over time she started bringing the jar into bed with her. like she literally sets it on the pillow next to her, sometimes even holds it when she sleeps

at first i didn’t say anything cause i figured it was helping her cope. but it’s been months now and honestly it’s starting to weird me out. i rolled over the other night and accidentally knocked it off the bed. thankfully it didn’t break but that was kinda my breaking point (no pun intended)

i told her i think it’s time to maybe find a safer more respectful place for the ashes, like on a shelf or in a nice display spot instead of our bed. she got really upset and said i was being heartless and that i don’t understand her grief. she’s been cold with me ever since and now i feel like a jerk for even bringing it up

i love my wife and i really do want her to heal but i also want our bed to feel like our space again not a shared one with her mom’s remains

so reddit aita for asking my wife to stop bringing her mother’s ashes into bed with us