Training Resources Accessible Outside of Work?

I just recently was hired - but I have CRAZY anxiety about not knowing how to do things *especially* at work. My trainer actually did a great job of teaching me in the moment but it happened very quickly and with so much information overload i find myself completely freezing up when I don't know how to make a drink... i feel like i embarrassed myself so many times not fully understanding when to stop during sequencing and the amount of times i've had to remake drinks because i couldn't remember if i pumped the syrup before/after the espresso shots or base in frappes.... I know no one expects me to know it right away but frankly I have been so embarrassed having to ask the same questions multiple times despite my very kind coworkers saying they don't mind. I just want to work hard and be independent so i can be reliable to everyone else since they've been so kind and patient with me ;w; that goes to say... is there any way I can access info similar to what we have on our work ipads? like the core recipe booklets and vids.