Settle this debate between wife and I - where do we belong

I grew up poor and am still scared of financial insecurity one day. She grew up solidly middle class. Not rich, but never struggled. I think we are upper middle class, she thinks we're well into upper class....

45/43 years old, no kids

$275k household income (I work, she's recently laid off)

$1.4M in brokerage

$3M in retirement accounts

$500k in primary home equity

$500k in rental home equity.

NW - ~$5.4M