Shes going to therapy

Warning foul language, probably mentions of abuse as well because why not

Shes going to therapy. Fucking 20 years of abuse and violance and fear and horrors and pain and I left. And now shes better. She is kinder to my dad, softer on my sister. She is less controlling, less angry. Apparently my leaving left her in such dissaray that she got help and has maybe started to see the fucking error of her ways.

I begged. I screamed and cried for her to get help and she didnt and I said she never would and bow she is and I hate her even more. She couldve done it all the fucking time but instead she forced herself on me until I was so hurt that selling myself felt safer than being near her.

I hate her. I hate her so much. She ruined my childhood, left me with mental scars that will never go away, with nightterrors and disabilities and panick attacks and now shes just…. Better? Less controlling? It took a year of therapy for her to get better.

And my extended family says “oh shes less angry and less controlling”, which means they saw it! I told them she was hurting me and they said she was too nice for that and now they say shes better? Kinder? And they think that makes it better?

Fuck them! Fuck all of them! I deserved better! She might go to therapy but her getting better is the final nail in the coffin that she will never be part of my life again.