r/Advice•
moonkie888

Can’t decide between two great women?

So I’ve been out of a relationship for about a year now and I’ve met 2 great people through the dating apps. The thing is I can’t decide because both seem like good options but for different reasons.

Girl 1 I’ve had a crush on since college, we went to the same middle school unexpectedly, she goes to the same church my family does, and like we just have this spark that’s built on attraction. It’s like this spark that’s very calming and have her in my mind as someone who would be a great mom and partner, but she’s very religious and even though I grew up religious and she goes to the same church my family does, it’s really not a big part of my life.

We started cuddling and spooning on the second date and it just feels very natural. To me I’m scared whether the religious thing would be a dealbreaker but I’m also scared that she’s not as out of the box as I am. It also seems like she’s very traditional which I don’t necessarily mind, but overall to me she represents calmness and comfort, she’s a good texter, she’s attentive, and it doesn’t seem like she’s playing games. I’m very attracted to her and the sexual chemistry seems to be there. I think she seems like someone I could really build a life with.

Girl number 2 I like very different reasons. We ran into each other randomly after matching and it felt kind of like a lighting strike moment. I can look in her eyes and just feel happy, she had cancer and I had cancer, we laugh and giggle, but she’s not that great of a texter and she’s kind of a free spirit and I don’t know how loyal and stable she would be. We talked about what we’re looking for and she said that she would want something serious between us but that she’s taking it moment by moment and wants to see how things unfold.

She likes to travel too, it seems like she can match my adventure, i just am worried about whether she is the type to be so free spirited and adventurous that she would put the relationship second and not make it a priority. Overall it seems like she’s someone who although matches my soul, I’m just very scared of getting burnt by her and she makes me anxious if I’m being honest. I mentioned to her that she takes days to respond and that if she could text me better than that would be great so I guess I’ll see if she responds better.

What do you think and what would you do in my situation?

In my heart of hearts I think while my heart might want girl 2 (at least at the moment), girl 1 has maybe equal parts of my heart and my brain.

Posted Nov 3, 2025, 9:08 PM UTC

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