CSA is ruining my life, unsure if I will be able to ever have a happy marriage

AOA, I pray everyone is well, since I am not. Im 23m currently in school and InshaAllah joining the workforce soon in a high paying government job. InshaAllah I also want to start looking and get married once I start working but Im scared that my problems will be a hurdle when im married.

I was SA as a kid and this has resulted in me becoming extremely hypersexual, it gets in the way of everything in my life. I cant not think about sex no matter what I do, its always at the front of my brain.

I sin often and feel terrible everytime and promise myself ill never do it again, just to have another thought and do it again. Even during salat I cant focus because of these thoughts.

I always try to fight these thoughts to no avail, any woman I see, I usually think horrible thoughts about them and I know its bad but I cannot stop. Worse is that I volunteer at the masjid and I have to speak to some of the women volunteers weekly, and if theyre somewhat friendly, I cant stop thinking about them for days and weeks on end.

I havent yet fallen into actual zina with a woman but ive gotten worse in the last few months and I talk to women online with the intent to meet up, and Ive almost done so 3 times.

I know that I dont truly want meaningless physcial pleasure, I do want a loving marriage with a pious muslim woman who will be a garment for me and delight of my eyes, but I always have that nagging thought in the back of my head of "what if she cant keep up or isnt interested in intimacy" idk what I would do then, how would I survive being married yet unable to fulfill these urges in a halal way?

It just feels like everyday my life gets worse because of this, even if it gets better in other aspects. Idk what to do anymore