My mother is just...idk. I need advice

So, I have BPD and my mother just doesn't get it. Which I understand, but she says I'm just too negative, that 'my generation' is too caught up on mental health and that I'm a 'posterboard' for it. Because she doesn't understand how BPD can cause all of these symptoms. She herself has terrible mental health, she admits to anxiety but nothing else.

I know she doesn't mean to hurt me by this conversation, I just don't know how to push forward when everything feels like so much. Right now I'm worried and frustrated about money, lucky I am in a state with FS still, but we still struggle. My boyfriend does everything for me (work wise) which makes me feel guilty so I don't tell him I'm out of food and stuff because I feel so bad.

Idk. I just don't know what to do, no therapist will help me because none work with BPD patients around me and are also covered by Medicaid. I don't know what to do anymore, she's talking of kicking me out so the options feel like being homeless or killing myself. She says I'm just too negative and that she's afraid to come out of her room because she doesn't know what mood I'll be in.

I just feel like I am going to die and I don't know what to do.