My fiancée uses our engagement as a weapon during arguments, and it has left me uncertain about the future?

I'm not sure how to phrase this, but even before I proposed, we had a pattern. Whenever we had a serious argument and she got mad, she would often say, "I'm done with you," and take off her promise ring. This went on for a long time.

When I proposed to her on our vacation abroad, everything went wrong. A few days in, I proposed in our hotel room. I wanted it to be an intimate moment so that if she reacted badly, it would be just us.

She was happy at first, but five minutes later, she started crying and said I didn't love her because she had imagined I'd propose outside. We had talked about it before, but the only thing she specified was that it should be in a summer month.

She didn't say yes that day and asked me to propose again a few days later. I did, but the spot I had planned was occupied, so I chose another one. She was furious it wasn't the place she expected and threw her engagement ring on the ground in front of a crowd. I picked it up, ran after her, and ended up proposing again on one of the last days of the trip.

I feel like the magic was completely ruined. The whole situation and her reaction have left a scar. It was humiliating, and I'm still ashamed, especially because we haven't told anyone the truth; we just said we're engaged. I'm afraid my friends would laugh, and I don't feel proud of her in that regard.

Even now, a year later, she still takes off her engagement ring when she's angry and says things like, "I don't want to marry you," or "We have no future." But when she's in a good mood, she talks about the wedding, our future, and where we'll get married. I feel crushed that she still acts this way,and I'm terrified it will continue after we're married.

Every time I think about the proposal, I feel disgusted. I feel embarrassed and alone in this. I need an honest outside opinion because I have no one to talk to. I don't feel secure in our relationship because of her behavior.

This leads to my financial concerns. Before we agreed to merge finances, I said I needed to keep a separate safety fund. If we split up, I have no safety net I can't move back with my parents, and I'd need money for an apartment. (She has a mother who gives her money whenever there's a problem, so she has that option. I don't). I want to keep this one fund as my security, even with joint finances.

All the future money I earn after we merge finances, I'm happy to share. I'll be on a trainee salary, meaning she'll technically carry the financial burden since my income won't be close to hers. I won't be able to contribute much to my personal spending account, let alone a safety net.

The reason I need this safety fund is precisely that she so often says "we're done" and throws her rings. I feel financially trapped without a backup plan for when things go wrong.

She will be contributing more to the wedding fund because she can save more and because she has a. Etter paying job, and she uses this to imply I'm not invested in our relationship.

But that's not true at all. Of course, I'm invested.

My safety fund is just an insurance policy.

She wants me to spend all the money I've saved over the past year on the wedding. But the wedding is still 2-3 years away, so I feel I still have time to save for it from my future trainee salary, which will be part of our joint finances. I think it's reasonable to keep my safety fund separate.

There was also a time when she got angry and went on Tinder in front of me. She started swiping and justified it by saying, "These men want me." She claimed she didn't want to like anyone but was just showing me, "look how many likes I've gotten, these men would definitely treat me better than you."

What are your thoughts on this situation