On Boundaries, Longing, and What “Knowing” Someone Really Means

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about friendships and whether you can ever truly know another person even someone you’re very close to.

I’m in my mid-20s, so my life experiences are still accumulating. Lately I’ve been struck by this strange mix of closeness and mystery: the more I grow closer to someone, the more I also realize there are parts of them I will never fully know. Maybe that’s normal. Maybe it’s not even a problem unless I let it become fuel for overthinking.

I haven’t had many chances recently to make new friends or deepen those relationships, so when a few close friendships have begun to deepen, I started to question everything. I care about these people. I want to know them more. But I also understand boundaries exist with family, classmates, coworkers, neighbors for good reasons. Sometimes not knowing everything prevents hurt or fights. People are complicated: we have kindness and faults, and exposing all of that can bring conflict.

Still, I keep asking myself: can you ever truly say you know someone completely? Not to pry or “figure them out,” but out of longing that desire to be closer, to understand the rhythms of another person’s heart and mind. Is that just FOMO or insecurity? I don’t think so. It feels more like genuine care.

This particular friend has become very important to me. We’ve shared things, and recently the person was there for me during a hard patch. We don’t talk all the time, but we feel each other’s presence. That’s what’s making me emotional now I feel loved and supported in a way I’ve been praying for. I remember the last time we met: the person left some of their clothes with me and said, “If I’m around, we’ll just be together and nothing else to mind.” That memory hit me hard.

I know we will meet again, but this friendship has already changed me. It taught me how much a person can lift a weight off your chest simply by being there. Now I find myself crying because I miss the person not just their company, but the safety and closeness they make me feel.

If anyone’s read this and has a similar experience, I’d love to hear it.

Thank you for listening 🙏❤️. — I miss you, friend.