Lost our boy today 2 weeks before first child is due

Our 11, almost 12 year old AmStaffy got suddenly sick a week ago and was diagnosed with lymphoma. We tried prednisone, but it was just too advanced. Yesterday we made the decision to euthanize him today, a week from his diagnosis.

2 hours before the vet was due to come euthanize him, he passed away with his dad & I holding him. He must’ve known we didn’t want to make the decision to end it.

We are devastated. We are expecting our first human son in 2 weeks and we wanted our first boy to meet him. It was all so quick. My husband got him at 6 weeks old and then we got together when he was 3. I worked from home and spent essentially 24/7 with him.

I don’t know how we can possibly recover from this loss. I feel like a bad human mom because now I am terrified to bring this baby into the world. It feels so empty.