My life recently

Just writing this here because I don’t know where else to write.

I’m not expecting any answers or even readers, but if you’re reading this and feel like answering, go for it!

My life is pretty much alright right now.

I’ve been studying for an important exam, but I have to admit I’ve barely given my minimum to studying. I spent most of the year adapting to medication and therapy and now that I’m doing good it just feels too late since the exam is this week. I feel unmotivated.

Apart from that, I texted the girl I (used to) like. Well, I don’t know if I should say used to or if I still like her. I wouldn’t be sad if she started dating someone else, but I’d certainly not reject her if she asked me out. Anyway, we talked for a bit, she was answering slowly until she finally stopped texting and ghosted me. That sucked, but at least I had the courage to text her, something I didn’t have for years. I’m still pondering whether I should text her again later.

I texted my best friend and said I missed him. We talked a bit but he was busy. He’s a good guy.

I didn’t read the book my psychiatrist recommended me. I’m genuinely not interested in it and probably won’t read it any time soon.

On the Saturday, I played some board games with my cousin and her boyfriend. They are really nice people and I’m happy for them.

Oh, but I can’t help but think about that one girl. Not hopefully, not painfully, not sadly. Just simple and mindless thoughts about her. What a shame, what a shame.

I can’t wait to move out for college and meet new people. It’ll be great.