Fed up.

i was raped. simple as that. i dont know how to handle it. ive been struggling with my mental health for years, around the age of 8 was when i started to have suicidal thoughts. It's been so hard, and with my senior year being next year, i just dont know what to do next. I dont want to leave my family or friends or my boyfriend or pets, but i just dont see any other way to fix these thoughts. i have everything set up and hopefully my attempt will be successful.

and i just wanted to say, thank you reddit for being my space these past few years, regardless of the ammount of accounts ive been through, this has always been my space. i loved it, and the ammount of communities ive been in has helped me through so many things.

To my mom, i love you, but you are a horrible mother. I shouldve been safe. i shouldnt have been beat the first time i was raped. i deserved safety and love. i hope that this teaches you that sometimes you need to care for your children.

to my dad : i love you dad. thank you for being my real parent throughout everything.

to my sister : i love you so much ky. my life would've ended a lot sooner if you never came into my life. make sure your daughter knows who i am, and please hug gracie one last time for me. when she dies as well, cut her tail and place it in my bedroom. i promise ill say hi to aunty kris in the afterlife, same with uncle brian, and the dogs. you are the reason i kept going through it all. make sure your husband visits my grave, i love you both so fucking much.

to my brother : i love you. dont forget about me.