things he made me do + what kinks i developed (f22)

i have a lot of various trauma but in particular i was in an abusive relationship for yearss and have so many fucked up memories that make me wet. listing a few favorites but please message me and make me tell you the things i wish happened :) -he would put me in a collar and leash and have me naked in our apartment. i would crawl and he'd make me beg for my own humiliation and degrading. beg him to spank me which i hated (i dont like pain), beg him to use his foot to rub my messy clit against and sometimes he would try to put his toes inside me and i hated it, it was so embarrassing and felt so weird. i would beg for his cock and to be allowed to kiss and lick it, or to be allowed to lick his balls. he would tell me to do these things then laugh at me :3 pet play is a hugeeee kink for me now and also being laughed at -anal training, it hurt so bad and i hated it and hated how quickly i craved it. it never felt good at all and he told me he wanted me to cum only from anal which i could never do. he loved raping my ass and cumming in it, buying me big toys and dildos i could only use in my ass. he did use lube but even then it was so tight and painful. anal is a kink for me now! -anal rape outside :3 so embarrassing but he would get me superr drunk so i could barely understand what was happening then take me to the roof of the building which had a courtyard and rape my ass. no one caught us (i dont think!) but i could see people walking on the street. once he raped my ass then took my shorts and cum was dripping out of me while we walked back. public play never became a kink for me, it was always embarrassing every time, but creampies/dripping cum while walking definitely it! -ageplay but where i was corrupting my daddy :3 all fantasy but he would buy me outfits for this and it wasnt a kink i had at all until this. -hit me lots, also not a kink i had before this. but he liked slapping me while i rode him or cockwarmed and sat on his lap. he liked feeling me clench i think. same with choking. often when he fucked me i was very drunk or high so i cant tell if i lost consciousness from choking or was just very out of it already but its a hugee fantasy for me now -electro play, never really got to do this but he loved the idea of it and it makes me so wet mmm theres probably more so maybe ill make a follow up!