I put myself in an complex situation with a man and I don't know what to do

There is this men I know. We talk on and off for over 2 years he is only the one starting conversation, I never reach out to him. Anyway, he wad my first ever date and I didn't like him but kept dating him because I thought I will develop attraction towards him. didn't happen. We held hands and I felt nothing. When he wanted to meet next time I said I can't (he lives far away so he needs to drive to my city). We didn't talk for almost 7 months until he sent a message and I answered because I don't know how to ignore people. He asked me if I want to be more than friends and I didn't answer but I act very cold towards him: short comments, leave him on unseen for hours. I agreed to meet him next Monday but every day I feel like I want it less but then I also think that maybe I'm thinking too much or too picky because he is not chasing at all so maybe he is not really into me and I should be more humble but I'm confused. He is not the pushy type or something, he is just insecure and try to please me and it makes me feel like he is not good for me for some reason and I can't understand why. It's like he is too good. you know what I mean?