I argue with my mom everyday

I've (16) (m) been increasingly unstable and prone to self harm due to constant arguments between me and my mom. I am covered in bruises up my arms from me biting myself out of frustration and I'm genuinely tired of never feeling like I can speak up around my mom without her holding some form of anger towards me. It is a constant struggle with all the fights we have. Each one is usually extremely petty. Its either she is frustrated that I can't explain something and blows up at me (I struggle speaking with her, I'm not sure why, it's like words come out randomly and I end up making no sense.) Or maybe she disagrees with me and when I attempt to explain to her something she tells me to "cite my source" and will repeatedly ignore me or shout to keep me for speaking if she doesn't want to hear me. I've never felt like she takes me seriously, everytime I've have a problem with my mental health it bounces back into a her thing. One of the more graphic instances is when I had hurt myself in front of her by stabbing myself with a fork. I felt eerily calm afterwards, and I realized I had overreacted, but she freaked out. She threw herself on the ground and spun around in a circle, screaming at the top of her lungs about how she should die with me if I was so suicidal. No attempt afterwards was made to try and see why I had hurt myself, she hid in her room and never talked about it. Even now, if she sees me bite myself she looks disgusted. I feel like she genuinely hates me and finds me pathetic. It's always small things that trigger me into a panic now, even her voice makes me feel like crawling up into a ball and sobbing. She just always sounds angry. I want to move but I have nowhere to go and don't want to abandon my friends. Im just tired of crying everyday. I want help limiting my outbursts, something other than "get a therapist (I have one) or learning breathing exercises. Those can help, but really any outside opinion about this might help me think more positively.

BTW I do love my mom, I think thats why it hurts so much. I don't want to lose her but I am not close with either parents at all. I wish I had her to lean on since my dad is out of the picture but that seems less likely everyday. I just feel stuck on not knowing where to go.