I've been on Hinge for a month... I am horrified

Venting

Hi everyone, I'm (F22), a bigger girl (22-26 US), and am currently studying abroad in the UK. I had never been on a dating app before, but figured it would be fun to meet some guys while I'm over here, since I've never been in a relationship. I knew as a plus-size woman it would be challenging, but holy... every single match I get is only interested in hook-ups/sexting. My friends (who are not plus-size) tell me it might be my fault, and I need to make that 100% clear on my profile (I have it set to short term, open to long term since I'm here for a limited amount of time), but I'm just hurt. Why am I only desirable as a sex object? Why are men either disgusted by my body or see it as a means to fulfil their sexual desires????? I want to scream, I'm A PERSON. I HAVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND INTERESTS. I AM MORE THAN JUST A BIG PAIR OF BOOBS OR STOMACH ROLES. I AM FUNNY AND LOYAL AND COOK REALLY WELL AND PLAY THE CLARINET, BUT NO ONE WILL EVER SEE ME IN THAT WAY BECAUSE OF HOW I LOOK. I genuinely feel awful about the whole thing. The fact that men feel entitled enough to message me for sex and nothing more? Why am I only desirable in a sexual context, but not in a romantic one? Everyone always says "the right one will come along," but it's just so disheartening that I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and hide there forever. I struggle with confidence, and this has definitely made it worse. My heart goes out to anyone who's experienced something similar.

Posted Nov 5, 2025, 1:44 AM UTC

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