I am stuck between two guys who both like me, and I don’t know what to do or who to choose
Hey, so I (F 18) am really confused right now because I like or at least feel interested in two different guys, and both of them have been showing interest in me too. I’m not sure what to do or who to choose.
Guy A (M 19):
I’ve been friends with him for a few years before things started getting deeper between us. He lives in Australia, and I live in New Zealand, so the distance is horrible and affects me a lot. Since we’re both young, neither of us can really afford to visit each other yet, and honestly, the idea of it is kind of terrifying especially since I have bad anxiety, even just hanging out with friends.
He’s an extremely genuine person who makes me feel loved, appreciated, and seen. We hardly ever fight (though we’ve only been talking romantically for a few months), and we’re both big on communication. We share a lot of interests and usually call for hours to play games or watch movies and shows together since we can’t spend time in person.
We both know what each other looks like, but we haven’t met IRL. I’m a little scared that I might be less attracted to him in person sometimes certain photos he sends put me off a bit (which sounds silly, but it’s worth mentioning). For the most part, I do think he’s cute, but it’s conflicting.
Talking to him makes me really happy, and he treats me like I’m a goddess, which makes me feel incredibly loved and appreciated. I know him a lot better than Guy B. He’s loyal and inexperienced with relationships he’s only dated one person before, and she cheated on him, which really hurt him. I’ve helped him navigate some of that trauma.
He’s always there for me through my ups and downs, and he genuinely makes me feel good. We’ve gotten a little sexual (over calls and text, sending explicit photos), but I’m honestly craving physical touch so much both romantically and sexually that it makes things really difficult.
We call each other boyfriend/girlfriend, so I guess we are “seeing each other,” but it still feels weird since we’ve never met in person. We’ve only video-called once, though I’m planning to do that more since I think it would help. The distance is really the main issue long-distance is extremely hard, and I’m not sure if it’s even worth it.
Guy B (M 18):
I met him on Halloween night which I know was super recent but we hit it off immediately and talked for hours at the party. He was actually invited because he was seeing my friend at the time (super casually she was mostly using him for hookups, while he wanted something more serious). They barely talked that night, which made things a bit complicated, but he ended things with her the next day after realizing they wanted different things. I helped them navigate that since they were both my friends.
He lives in my city, and we share the same interests and inspirations, kind of like with Guy A. We’ve played a few games online together, and he’s talked about watching stuff together too but it feels weird to pursue that while I’m still talking to the other guy, especially when I’m doing similar things with both.
He’s flirty with me and shows a lot of interest, but he’s told me he wants to hold back unless I say otherwise because he knows about the Australian guy which is super nice and respectful. I haven’t known him long enough to fully judge his character or how he might handle conflict or how we may connect on a deeper level, but I know he’s looking for something serious and hasn’t had a real long-term relationship before. He’s been used as a rebound and cheated on, so he’s never had that real experience.
He’s super cute, and I’m really attracted to him. He’s very flirty and always tells me how attractive he finds me. My main issues are that I don’t know him that well yet since we just met not that long ago, and the situation with my friend is still a bit uncomfortable, as well as the fact i do know he's had 5 or so relationships in the past which bothers me a little bit even though i know he may of been used during them (because he met them all via snapchat)
Both of them are kind of aware of each other Guy B knows about the Australian guy, and Guy A knows I’ve been talking and a little flirty with someone else (which does bothers him quite a lot since he likes me).
In summary though:
- Guy A gives me strong emotional intimacy, comfort, and consistency, but no physical closeness. The bond feels safe, comforting, but I really miss reallife chemistry and touch and it makes it extremely difficult for me, also making me unsure about long term.
- Guy B is exciting, attractive, and easy to talk to. There’s a real possibility for in-person closeness, and i really enjoy talking and spending time with him but the emotional depth isn’t there yet since it’s new and uncertain so id just have to see what happens with time.
What I really want is a long-term relationship with someone I can build a life with. I just want to be treated well and not hurt anyone in the process. My friend suggested I give it more time, which is probably smart, but I’m still wondering who seems like the better option here? or what should i even do or say to them, its really difficult because i know someone will end up hurt
Posted Nov 5, 2025, 1:49 AM UTC