How to be more kind

How do I become more kind and enthusiastic toward someone who is hard for me to get a long with. I keep our conversations quick and cordial because she makes everything about her usually. She’s still healing from her past of being homeless so I assume she developed a selfishness out of survival. But it just makes it hard for me to enjoy her company. How do I exude the fruit of the spirit toward her when I’m also trying to protect myself from her?