Why do you participate in this challenge? ( im lost)

Ive done the nonut challenge twice so far in order to test my will power over the strength of addiction. Yet as of late i've been very questionable this year, why even try this challenge if you've spent your days abstaining only to cum on december 1st, all it seems to tell me is that willpower and determination can do only so much but only addiction wins in the end and we're only here for the shits and giggles, and not here to prove anything.