I think I felt what happened recent days

And it all ended on "forget, forget, forget, he's not a person in my life anymore". But I feel like it only went to another level. Maybe it moves like a wave on a graph, increasing or lowering its amplitude, depends on if it's about you or about me.

I've explored, I decided, I saw where I feel more comfortable, I've not listened to what anyone said, I listened to my heart, and that's why I prefer to preserve things in myself forever, that's why nothing can break me so easily. In the end I don't see life as a game, but as something that has so much things which you always can lose so easily, but it gives so much energy and inspiration. I saw what would happen if I choose predetermined path, what kind of person I would become, and I decided I don't want to be like this in the future. I didn't have the pressure, but you had a lot, and this fact actually separates us so much..

I think it's from my idealistic nature, while you had to give up so many times, they didn't let you build your own self, breaking it every time, probably from envy.. because you were objectively a very promising talented person from birth, and they either didn't want to see it, or tried to stop it, as you could've reach so much potential and power by yourself.

But when you saw me closer... Before that, you've already decided it's over and you'll just stick with what's left. But you saw in me that I still feel that energy in you, that you can try again... because we only have one life... And that's why, I think, you said you love me... I saw in you so much what was ignored and suppressed by others for so many years.

I think about spring of the last year sometimes, how you actually might felt it... I don't know, still don't really know, I don't have something to compare in my own life..

Late January 2026 will be interesting.. I don't know what will happen this time, and when it will cross this line, and how it would feel for both of us.