M33 Out of 4 Year Relationship This Past May, Now Dating F21. Any Words of Wisdom?

As the title states, I’m a little confused by my own actions here. I left a 4 year relationship with a 30F after following my gut and not marrying my now ex, who I dated for 4 years. I won’t get into the details, but it was a messy breakup. I led her into thinking I was going to propose (out of fear of hurting her) while she manipulated and attempted to force me into making a decision she knew I was not fully ready to make.

Long story short, we were not right for eachother, and although I definitely do miss her at times, I know it was the right move. I also take full accountability for the things I put her through, and am looking to date with far more respect, care and intention than I did previously. That’s not to say I didn’t treat her well, which I did. I just know I went into it without an idea of where it was going.

We broke up back in February, rekindled in May, and officially called it quits in July after the same issues arose. She was too hot headed for someone like myself.

I had hit the ground running on dating apps, which did not pan out at all. I had faint interest in a few girls, but no true feelings or intentions of making it last. Maybe because it was too soon, or maybe I truly just didn’t have a connection with any of them. I think the youngest girl I went on a date with was 26 - I set me dating range 24-34, and did not intend to seek a relationship with anyone younger for somewhat obvious reasons.

After a while, I gave up on dating apps, and just started going with the flow, hoping to find someone in a more natural setting.

Fast forward to this past September, where I found myself at a concert of my favorite artist. He just so happened to be playing at a college campus - one that was in an area in which I thought I may find a girl more my speed. I did not even think for a second that a college aged girl would be the one that caught my attention, but lo and behold, that’s what happened.

She made the most direct, intense eye contact with me, so much so that my friend, and a random passerby, both told me she wouldn’t take her eyes off of me. I knew she likely was younger, but figured what the heck. I’m two hours away from home and just had a couple beers, why not see where it goes.

I led by asking her her age, and told her my own. She didn’t care at all, and I ended up exchanging numbers. It took me a literal hour of racking my brain & talking with a friend to figure out what to do, and I ended up saying screw it, worst comes to worst I see where it goes, and if it doesn’t lead anywhere, I go home later than anticipated.

We ended up going to her place (she’s a senior living at an off campus house) and talking/playing guitar and just getting to know each other for hours and hours. I became enamored with her and her level of maturity at such a young age, and became more and more intrigued by her as the night went on. The next morning, we went on a hike together, and decided to keep in touch. I remember texting my friend “I think I just found my wife… who also happens to be a college senior”. It was meant as a joke, and I figured things would fizzle out.

But - as she persisted and wouldn’t relent in inviting me back up out of the city and into the mountains to hike again, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get to know her more. The more we started to really let our guards down and talk, the more we realized we have an incredible amount in common, and really were starting to like each other.

I really was struggling with the whole thing at first, and made her tell her parents she was talking to me pretty early on. I wanted them to be in the know, and have some input into the situation, and also wanted them to know who I was etc in order to avoid being the creepy older guy trying to date their daughter. Once they both cleared it, and even told her it made sense, as they both know how she is wise beyond her years, I really began to get excited about building something with her. Having her parents & friends blessing was huge.

She has incredible friends, a great head on her shoulders, a clear idea of what she wants to do (graduate degree to then become a nurse), perfect taste in music, and it also doesn’t hurt that she’s kind, caring, respectful, shares the same values as me, and is beautiful.

The only drawback is that I still have anxiety at times and get in my head about how young she is. Sometimes I feel like a creep, and I start to wonder what it is that I’m doing. But when I see her, I really feel at peace, and like I can see a clear image of where we will be in 10, 20, 30 years. I’ve shared with her that I want kids within the next 4/5 years, something she’s on board with.

This past weekend, we spent a couple nights away with another couple, who were friends of hers. We had an amazing time, and even though I already knew it, she told me she loved me, which I reciprocated.

All of this is to say/ask, what are your thoughts on this? I don’t want to rush things and end up getting hurt, or hurting her. But I really do think this is something I that could see working.

I’m 33, established financially, have a great job and foundation. I own a home, love my family & friends (who all support this), and I can just see her fitting seamlessly into it all.

So, any advice for someone in my shoes? Things I should talk with her about, or think about before really diving in?

Thanks in advance!