Been a while—Boss—Hotel

Hi folks, thank you all for the support. Filed for divorce now almost 5 months ago. Court date was supposed to be September and she finally got a lawyer. My question, her lawyer withdrew motion, date changed to early next year -couple months away. My lawyer said it’s “par for the course” and it was a judge that rescheduled it. Makes me nervous though. Thinking she is delaying for some reason. I just want this over and settle so I can move on and buy my own house. I got a job out of state and doing well. She had been bombing me with emails ect telling me to try to stay with her. At one point I agreed but only if she came clean. She would not so I did not withdraw the divorce. Still have sad days here and there questioning my choice on whether to stay with her or not. Now though thinking back I feel her boss was not the only one. This has been going on a long time I feel with at least 2 men—her boss and an old BF. Something I never mentioned, I found a man’s name on her phone with someone I know from my home town that went to the same high school I went to—-she is from Europe so there is no way she would have his number. When I asked she said she didn’t know him and didn’t know why his name was on her phone. The next day she said she looked it up and sometimes random names can just go on your phone. No I don’t believe her. I am concerned about $. We have a ton of equity in the house which I’m hoping to get half as well as half of her 401k. What is the difference if I was the wife and she was the husband? The wife would get half and I’m just scared because this is the $ I will retire with and buy a property with and will be all I have. Any advice from any lawyers on here or men that went through this as well?