my therapist doesn't take me seriously | residential treatment

i'm only 14. ive been in therapy for 3 years, and with this therapist for a year and a half.

she basically says i gravitate towards negativity and wallow in my misery, and I don't think about what I'm saying and I just say whatever comes to mind--usually negative. but it can be positive sometimes. She says I don't "dig deep" into what I'm feeling.

She says she's learned to stop asking me if I'm suicidal or homicidal or want to SH because i'll automatically say yes. (Again, refer back to what I said) Thats not necessarily true. Yes, I exaggerate; however, I really need help. She's good for TALKING about these problems. the majority of our sessions are just reflecting on how I dug my own grave for the week or what I couldve done differently, but she's not adressing the root problem of why I can't implement these changes.

Anyway, I'm considering residential treatment. I need it. I've tried everything else. (therapy, hospitalization 2x, er trips, etc.) so this is what i'm considering. But that'd screw everything up--school, college, (i'm trying to do dual enrollment) jobs, etc. My school isn't public, it's a private art school (well technically magnet/charter) so the attendance policy is strict. I can't do treatment like that. I think I need it. I can't stop cutting. or eating unhealthy. I'm just ruining my life. I have no friends either.

how can I work that into my schedule? I'm a freshman, set to graduate CO '29. i'd graduate C0 30 if I do this. and I really wanna go to this school.