Christians who left and came back: how?

I’ve been struggling with agnosticism for years now. I want to go back to Christianity, but I have a lot of doubt, trauma, and pain associated with it. I’m in fact homeless at the moment because I refused to attend my mother’s church (homophobic southern Baptist) and we got into a massive fight. It ended in her physically attacking me and being forced to leave home.

Many people told me that I just need to have faith, but that doesn’t work for me. I’ve been burned too many times to trust easily or have faith. I need something more concrete.

Not to mention my turmoil with believing in old-earth theory and evolution. I just don’t know how I can believe in both and have it truly work.

Who or what made you return to the faith? If you were agnostic, what made you believe that Christianity was the definitive religion? Any book recommendations that may help quell my doubts?

TYIA.