Journey Update

When they say the power of the mind is not a joke, they are not joking. I don’t think I have imposter’s syndrome, but I have mastered the ability to psych myself out. Maybe a week and a half after my first post, I took my account up about $1000 in the positive from a $900 deposit only to self sabotage and tank my account to zero. Luckily it wasn’t money I couldn’t afford to lose, but it didn’t feel good nonetheless. I have been learning in this game for about 5 years now and I feel I should be better at certain aspects than I am. Regardless, I can’t fault anyone but myself and this will be another learning experience for me.

I have tried prop firms in the past and while I have had success in passing the evaluations, I haven’t been able to withdraw funds from the markets. I let the bad habits from my rushing to pass the evals carry over into the funded side along with my lack of patience. I say that to say that there is a learning opportunity in everything. I have taken another evaluation with top step and passed it in two days, but I am taking at least 2 weeks off before activating it. In the same way I wanted the last deposit in my account to be the beginning of my hero’s journey, I wanted that for this next funded account, but I am wise enough to not put that pressure on myself.

Previous failed attempts at obtaining a payout were caused by over leveraging and over trading. I got myself into a hole to begin with and never was able to recover literally or figuratively. This time I’m starting with micros, really only looking for the highest probability and quality set up, and building a buffer before increasing contract size. Once I activate the account, I will post my calendar here to help hold myself accountable and look forward to any feedback from anyone interested in sharing their insight.

I’m going to wrap this up, but I relate to a lot of posts I see in different groups and there is a possibility someone will relate to mine. We are no different than the successful traders that we follow. They just have already gone through this and were able to remove the aspects of their lives (on and off the charts) that did not contribute to their success. It’s time for me and anyone else who is in this same part of their journey to do the same. We can do it, we WILL do it, let’s make it happen. Our futures selves are waiting in us to do the hard stuff now, so life can be easier later. Let’s get it