I just need to vent because I'm still so hurt by my MIL. She smears me to everyone we know and blames me for not seeing her grandkids. This conversation happened over a year ago but I'm still finding it so hard to cope because I literally don't have anyone to talk to about this. Yes, she laughed about basically turning my parents against me. I shared this somewhere else and the comments made me feel so much worse because they all insinuated that I was at fault,  said that I was the problem or that there was more to the story so it was hard to believe so I've been alone in my hurt for a very long time. This is just one of the many and I mean many things she has done but I get the blame for.  

What prompted this conversation with her was that our dog got out, ventured over to their house and she called my parents because she was "concerned" about our dog but yet the next day after the text she sent (I/we didn't respond because I had her blocked and didn't know she texted/our dog wasn't gone very long) my dad came over knocking on the door, we didn't answer because we were doing something in the back of the house and didn't hear him. I called him once I noticed that I had a missed call from him.  When I called him back, he said that my MIL told him and my mom that she was worried that my husband was beating on my kids and I because  our dog ventured to their house. He said that him and my mom were worried about the kids and I and he came over earlier to check on things but when I didn't answer he figured he'd never come check on us ever again so when I received these texts from her, I felt so alone and not to mention betrayed. 

The betrayal opened my eyes to my own parents abuse throughout the years and in May of 2024, I told my dad when he came over for our daughters birthday that he had his sons and that he didn't need me. He asked me what he ever did to me and I said "you were gossiping with my MIL," he then said "I wasn't." And that's when I said "That's not what MIL said." Yes, the part where she says they said I don't control who they talk to, that sounds like something my dad would say. I didn't realize that it was control, I thought it was respect for me to prevent basically what happened but yeah. 

There is more but I'm already in tears because this is still so hurtful. Though, I will add this as a bonus. She tried to gaslight me into thinking she loves all her grandchildren the same but yet pointed out that my middle child takes more after her side of the family because her skin tone is more like theirs. (they are white, my family and I are Native American) 

Anyways, thanks for reading! 

MIL smears me to everyone we know.