Former NEET, have begun to hate myself and fall hard into the comparison trap

Hi. I'm 25 years old. I have no license. Just got my permit. Im still in Uni. I graduate 2027. I'm a creative writing major. I dont do anything during summer breaks. No job. No volunteering. No internships. No anything. I apply for internships way too late , like beginning of summer and i'll apply for a handful of regular jobs but i dont follow up to all of them and just dont take any further action. Fundamentally I am financially reliant on my parents. For the first time in a while I have been using my own money from an on campus tutor job---i mostly just use it to eat.

But yes, they pay for my loans and everything else. They have paid for my uber rides and uber eats orders.

Each time they do, I hate it. I try to remind myself that most college students are broke. But still.

Out of High School i had a severe mental health crisis. I had severe depression, shut the whole world out and was doing nothing. A full titlt NEET. I even went into psychosis.

I'm severe adhd with ocd, social anxiety and some kind of moderate depressive disorder---a recent diagnosis.

My parents just got angry at me and yelled at me to get a job. My mental health got worse. Eventually i willed myself into enrolling for college at 21.

On and off i have made attempts to get my license but its tough getting over my fear of driving.

Im now pursuing getting enrolled into a driving school.

Last year I almost died from DKA. Diabetic Ketoacidos. Got diagnosed with adult onset type one.

I try to remind myself that I am literally disabled. Mentally and physically---and with little support i have managed to get on the presidents list at my school and still graduated from my community college in spite of my diabetes crisis.

This post is part of exposure prevention therapy to expose me to the fear of being behind in life.