How do you stop anxiety from controlling your life?

Hi everyone,

I’m a 40-year-old woman, a highly sensitive person who struggles a lot with anxiety. It feels like anxiety constantly stands between me and actually living my life. Even on good days or happy occasions, I somehow find something to worry about. My body is always tense, and I rarely feel truly safe or at ease.

I get anxious about almost everything: starting new hobbies, traveling, meeting new people, even small changes in my routine. I want to do more, to experience life instead of just reading or thinking about it, but fear often wins. I spent hours living it virtually, researching and looking for solutions...

Recently, I learned that a distant relative was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Ever since, I’ve been obsessing over the idea that maybe something could be wrong with me too, that I might “lose my mind” one day too. Rationally, I know this thinking isn’t helping, but it’s hard to stop. Again, then I read, research and imagine the worst scenarios, instead of simply living my life.

The hardest part, though, is how anxiety affects my relationships. I overthink everything, constantly question potential partners, and focus on what could go wrong. I suspect I lean fearful avoidant, and I’ve sabotaged relationships in the past because of it.

I’ve been in therapy for a while, but only recently started working with someone who truly helps me understand my patterns instead of just managing day-to-day situations. It’s still early, and the process feels slow, but I finally feel like I’m on the right path.

So I wanted to ask: if you’re living with so much anxiety or used to in the past, what has actually helped you?

• Any life-changing books you’ve read? I just ordered 5 on amazon to read.
• Changes in your routine, some daily habits that made a difference? I’m trying to spend less time on social media since it often makes me feel wors, constantly being told how to live, love, and communicate “correctly” leaves me feeling like shit and see world as such an unjust place.
• Relaxation techniques, hobbies, or other forms of therapy that worked for you?

So if you’ve found anything that genuinely helped you live with anxiety instead of being ruled by it, I’d be so grateful to hear about it.