This has always been a relationship of ups and downs. I feel like he and I saw the worst parts of each other from the very beginning, and once you’ve seen someone for who they really are, it’s hard to see them any other way. We hadn’t talked for six months, and then we ran into each other by chance on the street. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt really intense. Even though days have passed, I still feel off. After seeing him, my chest tightens from time to time, and I don’t even know why. I thought I was over him, but seeing him again made me feel strange in a way I can’t really describe. I’ve never been able to fully understand my feelings for him, and I’ve never been sure if I even truly loved him. But he does something to me — he completely throws me off, and I can’t always explain why. It’s not that either of us is a bad person, but we both know what the other is capable of, and there are no grey areas between us. There was never that excitement or illusion you feel when you meet someone new and think they’re perfect. With him, and it was mutual, we were just ourselves from day one, with all our flaws. That’s why this whole connection feels strange to me now. I don’t really understand it, but I wish I did. Help me please! 

Seeing him again brought something out of me. Please help! I want to get this feeling off! :(((