Dates don’t go anywhere, what am I doing wrong?

I (27f) used to cringe when I saw posts like this but honestly I’m losing my mind. I’ve been in one long term relationship, it was 5years ago, toxic and borderline abusive, so I haven’t dated seriously in years. Well I decided that I’m tired of being lonely and I’m not meeting anyone by just going to work and going home, so I’ve been on dating apps. MULTIPLE times recently, I’ve met someone, we hit it off, things go great. First date goes great. Next day he seems to get cold feet, but agrees to go on the second date still. Second date feels off but ends with chemistry and passion so it doesn’t feel like it went bad.

The first guy, he was nearly a decade older than me, and confided in me he had a long term abusive relationship end in a really tragic way nearly a decade ago and I was the first or second woman he’d been seeing since then. The first month it was talking on the phone for hours every night. We clicked immediately. He dropped the L word a few times and I kinda clocked it as love bombing but I was so into it I ignored the red flag. We had so much in common and so much chemistry. The first date we were both so nervous and it was a little awkward, but we ended up having really passionate sex. He cooled off for a day and then proceeded with daily texts calling me babe and baby and talking about a future with me which was intense but I wanted what he was selling me. Second date I had him over for dinner and the meal I cooked kinda flopped and it wasn’t great. It almost felt like he was just there for sex. He’s such a sweet man and a great cuddler. We continued talking for a few weeks but I could feel it fizzling, and I initiated the conversation where we ultimately cut things off and he told me he really likes me, but was only interested in me as a friend. I understood and agreed but was quietly devastated. I tried to ask him to get a drink and talk or talk on the phone because I knew it was coming but he ended up saying it in a text and wouldn’t call me. This isn’t the only instance, but this is the most prominent. Mind you this went on for about 2 months. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. What can I do to figure out what’s wrong so I can fix it? I feel like I’m scaring them away but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or what’s wrong with me? What do I do?