They expect you to be grateful for the craziest things…

My husband has inverted the truth and outright denied facts about our finances. You only have to take a brief look at our financial history and you will see I’ve carried most of the load. But he will tell incorrect numbers and talk about how helpful he has been and how grateful I should be. When I tell him his numbers are incorrect he immediately interrupts and cuts me off and often cusses me out.

I paid for our Christmas 2023 road trip against my will and he bossed me around and was verbally abusive on the trip when I was the one paying for the damn thing. He speaks about me not being “grateful” but where was his gratitude when he’s been a burden on his wife because he’s a failure as a provider. I have tried to teach him a lesson by refusing to thank him for things but he twists it around and orders me to thank my blood family for things. It is infuriating because I don’t have an issue thanking people in general, it was a behavior specifically directed at him to let him see what it’s like when the shoe is on the other foot.

He speaks about a wife needing to be “obedient” but nothing about the man’s responsibilities. If five different serial killers broke into our house and he made me fight off four while he only fought off one, he would say what a great husband he was because if it weren’t for him I would have had to fight off all five of those serial killers instead of just four.