Too masculine to be a lesbian, not masculine enough to call myself a man. What community would be welcoming?

I have medically transitioned FtM but still pass for a woman and live as a woman with most of my friends and family (the only other option is to complete isolate myself, which I don't want to do). I kinda fail as a trans man and I don't want to continue down that path anymore because it's harming my mental health, and I'm also not interested in detransitioning, I just want to stay where I am and accept where I am.

I feel like the nonbinary community would not be right for me, any community under the transgender umbrella would not be right because if I'm going to be a trans I would like to go all the way and be a trans man. I want to accept myself as a woman but I feel like I am way too masculine, I have tried to join some "trans-inclusive" communities on discord but they kicked me for being too masc (I've been on T for years + top surgery + plan to get bottom surgery) yet I've been bullied away from trans male servers because I don't pass well enough for a man.

I feel like "bigender" is a good term for me but I have yet to come across really anyone else who uses it. I'm just really sad that I don't have a place in regular society as a queer person and I don't have a place in the LGBTQ community either. Any help?