How do I handle this emotion?

I taught myself how to code for indie developers and found a project manager manager who finds me commissions where the pay is ranging from 400USD to 3000USD and it takes me around 3 days to 2 weeks to complete them.

I could basically order luxury sushi or luxury pizza or whatever I want.

But like i deeply deeply want to cuddle a woman in my bedroom while sharing expensive take-away.

So what i feel is...

I feel happy at the thought of it but also I feel like I need to be realistic about what kind of woman I want.

The tension is kind of like... how do I hold onto the fantasy or desire while also being open to the reality if I have never experienced the reality?