want to quit so bad

i have tried to quit about 5 times over the past year but the irritability gets so bad that it turns into literal blind rage after the first full day/into the second that i genuinely think if i kept going i would be fired from my job. i have this coworker who absolutely enrages me on a perfectly good mood normal day with no added stressors, and also work with the general public which can be quite irritating on a good day too. combine those two things with nic withdrawal mood swings and irritability and rage and i turn into a literal monster. it makes me disgusted with myself but i don’t know how to stop it other than taking a hit and i magically calm down for a bit then feel so dumb about why i was so mad in the first place. how can i get past this part??