Coming through the realisation period

Hi all,

My first post. I type this in bed, currently coming to the end of my second mental breakdown in about 1.5 months.

I told my employer I'm on the NHS assesment waiting list as I'd had the first breakdown and I thought I was going to be fired. I was getting a lot of abuse from my manager for about a year or so. Didn't understand why. I think he was jealous, someone made a hint at that.

Now I've told them things are much more pleasant. People are friendlier. I have recently had mental pains, I wonder if this is my brain growing with this new perspective.

Common traits, people have asked throughout life if I am. An autism psychologist referred me for assessment. Always struggled with keeping jobs or just talking to people.

It's been like a mind warp with understanding people . Looking back at a lot of things that I've done to hurt people. Crying. Getting high to help. So many times I've been manipulated or stitched up, screwed over. I feel like the oldest person alive.

Here we go guys....a brave new world.

Anyone else have similar stories?