Stupid jersey name ideas

I have a match coming up that includes a free customized jersey. Generally speaking, I don't wear jerseys (I don't want anyone to think I actually know what I'm doing) so I figured I might as well make it something humorous.

The customizable areas are the name on the front chest (small) and the last name on the upper back (large). I think I can include spaces but ideally I could do something name-ish. "Shooty McShootface" etc.

What say you, Reddit? The winning suggestion will get my thanks and a cash prize of whatever I can find under the couch cushions.