[337] Can you read this and tell me is any good

Crit [347] - I am ashamed, I like reading stuff have never wrote anything meaningful.

I’m not a trained writer, I’d be grateful for any honest feedback — writing perspective.

Gardusk was standing there, watching Rimly prepare.He was acting like a peacock, Gardusk thought, equipped with nothing more than shining words.Drama and theater — thrown around without hesitation. Rimly was scattering sparks of his own happiness as if it were trash.He was a funny, very capable guy, acting like a fool. Gardusk wanted to laugh. He also wanted to find a reason for it.Finally, he said,"Don't."His voice was serious and detached."Just take care of it."

Watching Rimly deflate like a punctured balloon glued a small smile to Gardusk's face. Rimly was looking down at his shoes like a woman of poise who had just dropped her own barrette — impatient and insecure — picking herself up again.Reaching the floor with his right hand, Rimly cheered up, and, as if nothing that had caused him pain had ever happened, pulled out his spirit — and his device — as if it had been hiding up his sleeve.

A contraption that looked like a mouse with a vacuum strapped to its back.A very fast mouse with a vacuum strapped to its back, surely, Gardusk was thinking.That thing sucked up every last speck of dust, every crumb and mote, just as it had been asked to.Gardusk watched Rimly and started to feel something similar to respect, asking himself how that was even possible.Funny! The smile on Gardusk's face wasn't disappearing. The device emptied itself into the fireplace. Both of them waited, watching the flames.Rimly stood fidgeting."The lady woke up again," Gardusk was thinking.

Fire consumed everything.When the flames left behind only smoke, Rimly gave Gardusk a friendly push, expecting a friendly reaction in return — one he wasn't eager to wait for.Loud and dramatic, with a big smile on his face, Rimly said,"This — this is Jerry!"Gardusk burst into a deep, thunderous laugh. In that moment, Rimly found his way straight into Gardusk's heart.