How to find a dom when you prioritize longterm relationships

Ok, so I am very relationship oriented. I have zero interest in hook-ups and zero interest in play outside of long term, committed, loving, monogamous relationships.

I have always had fantasies about being submissive in the bedroom for sure but somewhat outside the bedroom as well (think of traditional relationships where the male partner has the last word in decisions sort of thing and there is occasional punishment spanking but the relationship is otherwise vanilla and is very openly loving, affectionate, and respectful)

This is all in the realm of fantasy. I have barely ever lived any if this out with a partner because I have been too embarrassed. But the fantasy is STRONG.

Anyway, I only do online dating because I have no other way of meeting men. It's critical to me that I don't get used for sex. I want to make sure that we develop emotional intimacy long before we even discuss sex. I don't have anything sexual outside of committed relationships. So I am afraid of putting anything kink-like on my profile because I am afraid it will attract men who only want sex and may only pretend to want a relationship. But I want the dynamic described above and I wish I could signal it somehow or know how to pick on cues on the first/second date that it may develop? Has anyone navigated this before?