I sometimes think my thoughts were abnormal when I was a child and teen

I always thought I was going to go to Hell. I knew I was bad because my parents punished me. Since to me being bad was something you were O didn't think I could be good because I was bad. Therefore, I was going to go to Hell. I also thought I could cut off my penis to make sinful thoughts go away. I don't think this had anything to do with Christianity. I think I was having a psychotic break.