I don’t like my boyfriend’s parents but I love my boyfriend. What do I do?

My bf and I are 25 and have been together since we were 16. The positive experience I had with his family lasted about a year and then it started to go downhill from there. His mom started off our relationship by telling me she wanted him to marry his childhood best friend instead. Then after that it was just normal things that tell you parents don’t like you: not getting to know me, criticizing me, ignoring me when I’d speak in a group. Then for a brief time I lived when then his mom would scream at me when no one was there. After that, we moved into our last apartment that we stayed at for stayed there for 2 years and they never visited us. The way I was raised, if I’m come into a family I have to be polite and build relationships. I reached out to his mom to help out when his grandmother died (she declined), bought his mom and Mother’s Day gifts, and the family Christmas gifts, came to all holidays they invited me to. I finally gave up when I graduated college and no one in his family ever said anything about it. That’s when I gave up (2022). Now I never talk to them and never go to family events. We’re having a housewarming party tomorrow and the thought of them there makes me want to pull my hair out.

Before anyone says anything. My boyfriend is understanding of my experiences and doesn’t force a relationship. They often did hurtful things when my boyfriend wasn’t present. He has no idea the extent of the trauma I’ve gone through so it makes it hard for him to agree that I need no contact. In his eyes, this is the personality of his mom and he has familial love to fall back on. All I ever feel like is no one ever wanted me in the family.