The Wanderer and the Light - Short Story Critique

Hey everyone. I'm...not a writer, I'm a software developer. For some reason, in the past year or so, I've felt compelled to start writing. I have no idea why, it just feels like something I want to do. Maybe its the world building, maybe its something deeper. Today, I found a writing prompt that spoke to me. I wrote the following story, and if any of you have the time and patience, I'd love to hear some critical feedback - the good, the bad, the ugly. Thank you in advance for your time!

Original writing prompt

Every night, the same star appears in a different part of the sky — drifting, searching. One night, it stops directly above you… and whispers your name.

Short story: The Wanderer and the Light

I freeze mid step, staring straight ahead, my full concentration attempting to process what I just heard. The air around me is frigid, and nothing but the overhead lights of the street lamps and the distance sparkles of the warm lights of the homes across the lake, and their undulating reflections on the water to keep me company. But in this moment, I see none of that, nor do I feel the cold air burning my lungs, nor the fading warmth of the tea in my travel mug. I do nothing but listen, and question whether I truly heard my name...my true name...a name I have told no one since taking refuge in this small town in a place called Canada. Have they found me? After all this time...but no, this is not how they operate.

Rian...I hear it again. It is unmistakable. I look around me, but I cannot see another soul nearby.

Rian...Something compels me to look up. The sky is a scattered tapestry of grey clouds interwoven with a black backdrop, laced with glimmering diamonds seemingly placed there randomly, yet consistency. I've looked upon these stars many times, I came to know the names the people of this land call the various celestial groupings and collections, and I became skilled at identifying each one, something I began doing during my nightly walks along this path.

Every constellation remained in its place, like a gallery set up eons ago by a most esoteric curator, and each component within those constellations remained fixed relative to its siblings; all except one. A single rogue star, which seemed to appear at a different point each night, perturbed an otherwise flawless canopy. It was brighter than any other star, and shone with a thousand discernable colours, as though this star was constantly shifting mass to change its radiating wave lengths. It reminded me of the shapeshifting kitsune of Japanese folklore. The thought suddenly made me wary, as tonight, the star was no longer placed randomly near the horizon, but seemingly directly over me, and brighter than ever tonight. This was no mere star...

"I'm here!", I call out to it. "What do you want?"

I receive no verbal response, but a feeling suddenly washes over me, and a vision appears in my mind. I see myself, exactly as I am now, completely alone, wandering the world with nothing but my travel mug of tea, and the stars as company. I feel an ache of sadness. The vision-version of me clutches his chest and doubles over, but regains his balance and stands up straight again. When he recomposes himself, I see he has suddenly become an old man, still wandering the land by himself. The light in his eyes that once greeted me in the morning has faded, for he knows that no life is worth living if it can never be shared. Somehow, through him, I know this too, though I cannot explain how.

The vision shifts, and the man, this future-me, lays dying in a hospital bed. No one but the nurses for company as he takes his last breath. The nurses remove the equipment attached to him, make some notes on a clip board, and leave the room to finish the necessary paperwork. The room is dark, there is no life here, no happiness, no sadness - nothing but a husk of a man who once spent every waking moment escaping and running from everything.

I turn towards the window and look out - it is night, and the clouds in the sky look exactly as they did when I began my trek earlier in the evening. And again, that same star, shining in the sky, in another randomly chosen spot. But tonight, it seems to be moving, something it has never done before. It does not grow larger, as one would expect an object to look as its distance to you shortens. I cannot parse the image I am seeing, but moments later, it is at the window, seemingly floating in air, casting light everywhere and brightening the room as though it were day. I look down and spy some nurses waiting at the bus stop nearby, likely having ended their shifts and going home. None of them react to this impossible thing hovering outside the hospital - no cars driving on the nearby road stop, or honk, as though I am the only being that can perceive it.

I look back at the now deceased version of me, the warm glow of the creature...object...whatever this thing is, cast across his face, creating shadows from the nearby equipment that almost makes it seem like he is smiling. I turn back to the creature (as I've decided to start considering it to be), and I feel as though it is almost...looking at me.

I make a decision, hoping that this creature is not dangerous, and that if it is, nothing I experience in this vision will affect me in the real work - I open the window. Instantly the creature flies in through the mesh screen unscathed, and takes position over the dead man's head. I watch for a moment - the creature merely hovers, then slowly descends, until its luminous tendrils touch the man's head, and his entire body is glows with the same light as the creature, the brightness intensifying, until all I can see is pure glowing light in the form of the man on the bed. The light continues to brighten, and I can no longer regard it directly, so I shield my eyes, and wait, hoping I survive whatever...this is.

In a moment, the glow is gone, and I once again feel the frigid air on my face. I remove my arm from my eyes. I am back on the street, at the same spot where I had stopped to listen to the voice. I look up - the sky remains in its ever constant configuration, but the star I saw directly above me, that I had seen on several nights at various positions in the sky, is gone. But there is a light being cast, from somewhere nearby - a light I know cannot possibly come from any of the street lamps or shimmering house lights across the lake. I turn to my right. Before me, is the glowing form of the man from my vision. That...me, that died alone, forgotten, abandoned. Its light does not harm my eyes. In fact, it feels...soothing, like a warm fire. From its shape, it appears to be looking at me, as I am looking it...him?

"Hi...", I say, uncertainly.

The being nods, but does not respond.

"Would you...like to take a walk with me?"

Again, the being nods, and motions towards the path on which I was traveling. I then notice, in the being's right hand, a shape begins to form - it is the same of the travel mug I too carry.

"Hah...I'll take that as a yes.", I say with delight.

I realize, in that moment; this creature, this being, this...person - they were not a mischievous shapeshifter trying to deceive me. They merely wanted what all life craves - to live a life shared, a life worthy of life, a life loved, and a life cared. A life unafraid, a life together.

Fin.