why is having adhd so hard? why do we diminish the impact it has on our lives? does it ever get better?

i'm literally battling adhd induced depression. i'm a sophomore in high school. everything in my life is utter chaos. i can't balance my physical needs with my emotional needs. i've been on and off medications i'm starting to feel numb to them. honestly i hate taking them but i can't succeed academically if i don't. even with the extra help from my medicine i am still struggling. i want to believe adhd is just some silly quirk, but it's not. i genuinely struggle to get out of bed every morning, i get easily unmotivated, and i have the worst anxiety ever from all the stress it causes me. i feel like having adhd is a never ending cycle of searching for an ever changing purpose. i feel so disappointed and guilty, like i could be doing so much more with my life. even in social aspects of my life, my adhd it makes it so much more exhausting. i feel so burntout, and i just need to know if it ever gets better?