Haven’t heard from my dad since my birthday in 2021

I haven’t heard from my dad since my birthday in 2021

I haven’t heard from my dad since my birthday 2021

Last I heard from him was wishing me a happy birthday in 2021 and wishing things would be different.

Don’t get me wrong he is a very angry and abusive a diagnosed narcissist and my life is better without him in it. I doubt I’ll ever let him back into my life and will stay no contact.

However, he hasn’t even attempted to reach out to me in over 4 years. Don’t get me wrong I am glad to not have the stress of him reaching out and gaslighting me. However, it hurts that he hasn’t even bothered. I am not even worth it in his mind to fight for. It’s not even worth fighting to have a relationship with me to make it seem to others that everything is “normal”. Part of it is he knows I want nothing to do with him so he doesn’t bother.

There are times I question what is worse:

1. not giving a shit about me at all and not even trying to
2. trying to reach out and pretend hes a victim and gas light me.

I think option 2 would make me more angry and frustrated. But at least he would care about me enough or care about others opinions enough to reach out. I think it would hurt less

Thanks for reading my rant