25/M Looking to vent about my exhausting existence

6AM on a Monday morning but its actually (to me) still Sunday night. Nightshift sucks. Same time, same place and everyone else but in a completely different headspace. I am some rare and incomprehensible mixture of various mental, hormonal, or emotional deficiencies / issues that make existence a constant miserable battle that I can literally talk to no one about. Heck i've even tried to talk to therapists about it but either I can't work up the nerve to really say what i'm thinking, or they just can't understand. I'm around people all day and need to keep that heavy mask of a character in order to keep making money. I make a lot of money, yet I can't do anything with it. Don't know what to buy, where to go, what to do with it. No one in my life to teach me, parents are disconnected, friends are non existence. How do I even make friends? This place is easy, its always here, sometimes it works but just like everywhere else without the pressure of real life keeping two people together the odds of them becoming friends are basically null. I sit here, alone, everyday. No discord friends or snaps or instagram friends or whatever people use nowadays, no thought or idea of how to connect or talk to people in a way that could lead to a genuine friendship. No ideas, nothing left to do but keep venting, and hope one day somebody listens.